Dear Idiot Letter

Someone is wasting what COULD be your resources!

Situated as we are at the start of a new millenuim, a new age in human history, and, according to some, the end of the world, those of us who have an eye on human trends have noticed an increased interest in the new age, the cults, and other forms of general weirdness. You, as a rational, reasonable, and admittedly cynical member of the human race, aren't interested in joining these sorts of groups. You're looking after yourself quite well, thank you. But even the wisest of us can't avoid noticing these more gullible members of the human race wandering among us, burdened by their fears, their exploitable low-self esteem or low levels of suspicion, and, more importantly, a lot of possessions they don't know how to appreciate. Why don't you help them out? Or at least, learn to talk their language to help yourself out. Select your choices from the form below and learn it. Afterall, they apparantly listen to anyone anyway, so why not you?

Note:

This isn't a form. It doesn't go anywhere or do anything, it's just to play with. The last thing I need is angry e-mail from the recipients of this letter writing to me to complain that someone doesn't like them and it must be my fault somehow. Yeah it means this page "isn't any fun *snif snif*" but that probably won't kill you. If it does, GOOD.

Dear

It has recently come to my attention that you have joined I'm happy to hear that you have taken this step towards I was especially thrilled to hear that your new found organization has such an interest in Before you though, I'd ask you to spare a thought for those of us without your foresight who and please consider giving me your money, all of your possessions, and possibly your house. I'd even be willing to purchase them from you for a greatly reduced price, say, It would be a kind symbolic gesture from one, such as you, who no longer has to worry about such petty concerns. After all, once you get where you're going, you'll have so why don't you leave these items with me before you I promise I will take proper care of them, holding them with all due respect for your beliefs. I will even gladly return them should you Please consider helping your fellow humans before you take this next step in your life.

Sincerely,

Your Name or Current Alias

p.s. Do you have a will or a good life insurance plan?

I am honoured to inform you that this page has been cited by Heartless Bitches International, the mad fools!

note: all works copyright Abigail Acland
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